Apparently I can’t even cook an egg.

There comes a time in your life when you should look back and see how far you have come. And apparently, I haven’t come very far. I failed at cracking not one, but two eggs. And I am supposed to be an adult at uni. Having a bad/no breakfast really sets off the day to a poor start, but does it count as breakfast if it is at 3:30pm?

I have had a lot of trouble getting to sleep recently, hence my late start. Last night was an odd mix of too much energy, Netflix, and a sore bum. The Netflix was Dirk Gently, and hey it’s all right but not as good as season one. The sore bum was a mystery to me and I literally tossed and turned trying to think about what the cause was, when upon waking I had the sudden realisation that it was Dustin (No, it’s not what you think). To set the scene, while both of us were a bit tipsy (no it’s still not what you think) we were playing Rugby Curling Championship™ (a game invented to be played in our corridor by some of my flatmates, and which I am terrible at). We were just waiting our turn when, out of nowhere, he pushed me. He thought it was funny-

1. Because I was crouching precariously.

2. Because we were both quite tipsy.

I flailed in the air, fearing for my life, my bum came crashing down onto the hoover, and two days later I am still plagued with a sore rear. Dustin found it hilarious. He found it even more hilarious when this morning, around 5pm, I knocked on his door to complain about my sore buttocks and their sleep depriving capabilities.

All of these factors have combined to completely ruin my sleep schedule, and because my sleep schedule is ruined, I wake up super late and can’t get up in the actual morning. To me, 3pm onwards feels like morning and writing this at 9pm feels like afternoon. Because I get up so late I can’t fall asleep at a reasonable time so I go to sleep really late, today was 5am, and then wake up really late. This means that come night time I’m still wide awake. It’s a vicious cycle.

And the worst part is I don’t think I can blame a poor sleep cycle on my inability to crack two eggs, I mean just look at the monstrosity I created in the image above.


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