My Day and the Worst Meal Ever.

I went to see Coco today, and it was a really good film and I enjoyed spending time with coursemates. But all of that was overshadowed by my meal.

I came home ready to cook, excited for the possibility of a delicious meal, and hungry as it was getting late. I let my flatmate know I was ready to cook via a text. Ten minutes was the reply, so I began to prep for the meal and got everything and was ready to cook. I made a tapenade using olives, capers and anchovies and it was surprisingly good. All I had to do was wait for my flatmate to start the next stage of cooking. 50 minutes after her text she came up and we began cooking. We were using a recipe from Jaime Olivers 5 ingredients only book. But this is a blatant lie, each recipe has five listed ingredients, then hidden ingredients in the method, which upon finding also have to be located. So you think you have everything you need and then BAM, midway through cooking you realise you need white wine vinegar. This meal looked very nice but they always do in comparison to whatever I make.

It was a fish dish, and the first issue arose when we had forgotten to defrost the fish. Being cautious as my flatmate had attempted to poison me previously with uncooked chicken I wanted to make sure this was properly defrosted. But alas my flatmate was hungry, so in the frozen fish went. After what seemed like an incredible wait, the food was ready, and it looked really ugly. I’ve often had ugly food taste good so I plated up and sat down. Here comes another problem with only 5 ingredients- it was incredibly tasteless. Each bite seemed to take a little part of my soul with it, my good mood from seeing Coco quickly evaporated. But all hope was not lost, my tapenade which I had enjoyed so much earlier could save the dish. Mixing in a healthy spoonful of my wonderful creation I readily took a bite. It was now just salty. Salty with a terrible texture. I tried to consume more, making a good dent in the goop in my bowl which somewhat resembled food. But I couldn’t take it anymore. My day was ruined, I bunged some fish fingers in the oven and decide that a life of despair was what I deserved for creating this meal. My flatmate had long given up and she had decided a meal of cookies was needed to make up for our failed enterprise.

At least Coco was a good film, I shed a single man tear at the end. I’m thinking about it now to purge myself of thoughts on food. At least I could use this blog to write about my anguish. Without it today’s post would have been a poorly formed comment on Coco. I hope you all had nicer meals :), goodnight.


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