Heartbreak feels like 1000 sit-ups.

If you’re either Sonia or Memory, please don’t read this as its going to be too cringe.

Do not Cross this line you two.

I know what you’re like Sonia, you can’t even sit through a movie without googling the end, but try not to go any further. I’m fine with strangers witnessing my heartbreak because they can’t give me funny looks in the hall when I pass them.

So yeah, heartbreak feels like 1000 sit-ups, my stomach won’t stop quivering back and forth and back and forth, at least maybe at the end of this I may have better abs. My girlfriend who I had been with for four years total broke up with me. I may be being overdramatic, but when you’re 19 four years is, well, 4/19ths of my life.

Little things keep triggering me, but also big ones like her photos all over the room. I want to go for a run but feel like that may be a bad idea especially as I have done very little exercise this year. My bottle of vodka also looks tempting but I feel like that too would be a bad idea. I am really really not looking forward to having to talk to my family about it on the phone.

There is so much I will miss but I am mostly focusing on little things to avoid more tears, stuff like watching Lost, her cats, her little brother who I really think was starting to like me, I did a really good elephant impression with a hoodie over my head. I hope he will be okay, but he is young so I am sure, thankfully, he will soon forget me.

One thing I am really sad about is that she never met my dad, I always just wanted him to meet her because I love/loved her, and I love my dad too. I guess I kinda wanted to show her off and back when we had been dating for just a year introducing her to my dad seemed like it would have shown how important she was to me.

Ultimately university and the distance was hard for us both, and I can’t help feeling like I failed. but that’s life. This post is mostly not about her because writing about her would be hard. I also got a call from a job I applied offering an interview, unfortunately, it wasn’t a great time as I was being broken up with.

Life from here will be interesting, I am looking forward to a long summer. I will miss her a lot, but now there are lots of people in my room so I am avoiding the topic to avoid tears. My coping strategy right now is going to be eating and rocket league, thankfully I have good friends around me.

So I guess bye Emilia, I love you, probably the last time I will write that.







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