Death by Alcohol

I finished a two week long exhausting work project and so decided to celebrate. As did many other people, unfortunately for me my night ended with my flatmates crying because they thought I was going to die, and me needing a paramedic as a vomited up my insides. While the paramedic flicked through my cookbooks.

The celebratory event had free glasses of prosecco, and that is where it all started to go wrong. My friends and I were unwilling to let free alcohol go to waste, I hate prosecco, but alas it was free. To impress my friends I just started necking glasses, I only had five and I felt a buzz, the walk home was very interesting as I staggered about and smiled at the world. I later received an email informing me I had dropped my ID.

Coming home I decided it was best to sleep off the alcohol before the party began as all of this took place early afternoon. The party was fairly uneventful besides me drinking more alcohol and before I knew it I was on the floor vomiting into my bin. Then I was vomiting in my bed, then I was vomiting on Callum. Then I was fighting against people who were trying to sit me up while screaming about how they were “hurting my nipple”.

My flatmates were very concerned and eventually rang a paramedic as my breathing became funny, a while later they arrived and satisfied that I was mostly okay now just took readings. One of the paramedics had a strong Aussie accent and he began to flick through my cookery books and recommend dishes, he even left the book open on a Banoffee cheesecake recipe he wanted me to cook so I could see it when I was alive again. While the other paramedic was taking readings he called me Tim, and in between bouts of vomiting, I informed him my name was Tom. He then began calling me ‘Tim-Tom’. He also searched through my fridge for pudding to eat, but alas found none.

It was a pretty horrible night and I felt awful, my friends had it much worse as I struggled against some while proclaiming nipple pain, while two others cried because they believed my death to be imminent. Luckily they were there to look after me. I have learned my lesson and will drink much less alcohol. Hopefully.




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