Well what now…

So there we sat, on the bench. Missing our most valuable possessions. We decided to wait for a while so that our muggers would be a good distance away before we began collecting our stuff. We also changed from shorts to jeans, I am not exactly sure why. It was very hot, maybe we just wanted to look different so the muggers wouldn’t recognize us. But maybe we just wanted to get out of the clothes we were mugged in. After changing we gathered up as much of our stuff as we could find, hopping over to get my shoes so that only one foot got muddy.
The next problem was the bag, it had been thrown over the fence to a gated apartment complex with nice high spikes on the top.  We needed that bag because it had our keys. At this point, things seemed less dire and we began to joke around, I laughed as my friend failed to climb the fence. We walked around looking for somewhere easier to get in. Eventually, we found one with something I could use to step up. It being my turn to try I climbed up onto the fence, and perched on top. It was maybe two meters high, but the big spike in between my two feet pointing at my testicles was quite disturbing. I managed to lower myself down without getting hurt and began to search for the bag. I could not find it. It took me some time but I realised I had jumped over the wrong fence… and there were two fences between me and the bag now. I jumped back over the fence, narrowly avoiding losing my testicles and sat on the floor. Suddenly my stomach had started to hurt and I felt really sick.

I told my friend I couldn’t jump any more fences and we walked around to the entrance. Apologies to those asleep in the apartment because we rang every bell on the lower floors. No one answered but we probably woke some people up. We shouted to one guy on an upper balcony to let us in but he just said no.

A random guy walked past, we asked for help, we said we had our money stolen and needed help. He shouted ‘How much money!’ and moved towards us, I said we didn’t have any money and he said he couldn’t help us and walked off, but we later saw him asleep on a bus stop so I don’t hold a grudge against him.

Eventually, my friend worked up the courage and jumped the fence, I was feeling pretty crappy so just lay on the floor. A long time passed and I was still just lying on the floor when a guy started walking around and speaking on his phone. I thought it would be ironic if we got arrested for breaking in. Eventually, my friend returned having explained it took a long time for him to find our keys as they had fallen away from the bag.

Now we had the problem of trying to get back at 3am with no way to get directions and being at least a two-hour walk from home.

I rose to my feet and we picked a direction and began to walk, unable to return to the station we came from because that is where the muggers headed. It felt like we walked for a long time. Every car that passed we were torn between calling it down or hiding in case it was our muggers or someone worse. Eventually, we saw a car pulled up and two guys talking.

We went up and asked for help. After struggling to make ourselves understood they finally got it.

‘The police” they said, “I am sorry we can’t call the police”

I was more than happy to not be implicated in what I assumed was a crime taking place and said ‘Okay don’t worry about it’ but they were keen to apologise to us.

‘We can’t call the police because…’ and one of them reached in the car, I was expecting them to pull out a machine gun, or maybe drugs. My friend later told me he was expecting a dead body or a prostitute/drugged women. An arm was pulled from the car and it seemed like my friend would be correct. Instead, it was Maurice.

Maurice emerged from the car, and it was apparent he was off-his-face. Probably on drugs. The guys began to give us directions to where we could get help, will Maurice began to run away, I pointed over to him and the guys began to shout ‘MAURICE!’ to shepherd him back. He did return, and the guys resumed their directions. Maurice had ideas of his own and stumbled over to the car and opened the door getting into the driver seat. I pointed again and shouts of ‘Maurice!’ followed as they tried to extract him from the driver’s seat. We decided the guys had done enough and thanked them, leaving them to deal with Maurice.

It took a while but we made it back to the station without being mugged (again) and using my best mugging miming ( which I would do again and again over the next couple of days) I explained our situation and eventually the police arrived.

The police were less than helpful… one just asked ‘Black? Black? Black?!’ again and again. The other police officer clarified this by saying ‘What race?’.

I was like ‘no Italian’ and we gave a rough description, the police just told us to come tomorrow to the station. We asked them how we would get home without money, hoping for a lift. Instead of getting told to get a taxi, we explained we had no money and they just shrugged their shoulders and drove off.

We did get a taxi home, using my shoe money, except the driver tried to scam us, we got in and my friend consumed a lot of vodka while I just had a glass of limoncello and then had a pretty nice dream-filled sleep. Getting mugged to me already felt unreal, like a dream.

 

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